


Down Under

by Vinushuka



Series: One year with Apocalyptica [21]
Category: Apocalyptica
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 05:05:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9369257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vinushuka/pseuds/Vinushuka
Summary: Apocalyptica's tour in Australia turns out to be difficult for Perttu partly because of the jet lag and hot conditions, partly because Perttu is confused by the turn his life had just taken. Haunted by nightmares  he's trying to find a way to win back the trust of his band mates  and build a life together with the people he loves. He finally gets an idea but maybe it still needs some honing...





	1. She's the one

## She's the one (1)

For the first time in my life I was happy that I had a chance to sit and think about my future. Our flight to Dubai would take about twelve hours and I could use most of that time to sort out my feelings for Johanna. The events of the previous week had rolled over me like a tidal wave. Things just started to happen and suddenly I was in a situation I had never been before. I had met a woman who was everything I wanted and I intended to make her my own.

      The whole thing was actually Eicca’s fault.  It was he who enthused about this beautiful woman keeping horses in a stable Eicca was familiar with from his childhood. After our promo tour I felt that I had to do something with my physics: I was getting fat and tired which was out of the question in my profession. Therefore, without further consideration, I called Johanna to arrange a visit to the stables and see the horses she had there. She sounded very young and a little nervous when I introduced myself and told her that I got her contact information from Eicca. I described to her my previous experience with horses and she asked me some details to make sure I was really able to have a test ride during my visit. I guess I managed to convince her because when we finished the call I had a meeting arranged with her at the stables on Wednesday morning.

      I must say I was a bit fidgety about seeing Johanna face to face and showing my riding skill to her. When I had parked my car on the parking lot I saw her waiting for me in front of the stables dressed in a riding outfit. She was slender and not very tall and she didn’t look like a typical Finn. Her dark eyes and oval face reminded me of a Russian woman I had met before. When I shook her hand I had difficulties to hide my excitement. She was beautiful even without make up and her smile melted my heart.

      Johanna showed me around at the stables and introduced her horses to me. I liked very much the tall dark brown gelding that clearly wanted to make my acquaintance too. We saddled him for me and went to pick up her horse that was already saddled and waiting for us. We took a slow ride around a short track beside the stables just to make me accustomed to the horse and after that headed for a longer tour around the neighboring fields. The weather was mild and there wasn’t much snow so our ride was easy.

      I was so excited about this riding experience that I proposed a second session already on Friday the same week. I wasn’t sure I if I had time for riding during the weekend or after that because our Australia tour would start next week and before that we would have two rehearsals. Johanna didn’t have engagements for Friday so she agreed to my proposal. When I was saying my goodbyes to her before returning to my car I suddenly had this urge to get to know her better. I asked if she would like to have dinner with me on Friday evening and to my relief she said yes. I was floating in seventh heaven when I drove back to my apartment. I had a date with an angel.

      I reserved a table for us in my favorite restaurant in Helsinki. I was nervous again and arrived slightly ahead of time there. I wasn’t prepared for the surprise when the headwaiter escorted Johanna to my table. I stood up confused gaping at this dazzling beauty in her violet pen dress with dark brown wavy hair flowing over her shoulders. Now I understood what Eicca had meant with his comment about a dangerously beautiful woman.

      I don’t remember much about the food and drinks we had. All I could see was this slightly shy beauty sitting in front of me. I wanted to know everything about her and bombed her with my questions throughout the dinner. I told her lots about myself too but there was one thing I didn’t share with her: that I was going to be a father, that Anna was carrying my child. If I had done that she would probably never talk to me like this again. I knew that sooner or later I would have to take the matter up with her but not yet. I had just found her and I didn’t want to lose her because of my stupid mistakes.

\-----

“You’re awfully quiet today”, Eicca commented and poked me in the ribs. “We’re going to have dinner soon so please wake up.”

“I was just thinking about riding and Johanna”, I replied annoyed by the disturbance.

“Maybe you should concentrate more on finding a nanny for Lumi. I promised to help Anna by making enquiries. Perhaps you should participate a little too…”

“Please don’t patronize me. I know what I’m doing.” I replied irritated by Eicca’s comments. Why did he have to interfere with everything?

“It certainly doesn’t look like it!” Eicca huffed and lowered his table to receive his portion from the trolley.

      When I had got mine we ate in silence. If I opened my mouth now I would probably say something nasty and I didn’t want to do that. Besides Eicca wouldn’t understand how I felt right now, how it was being trapped in relationship I hadn’t wanted in the first place.

“Have you ever had the urge to leave everything behind and start something new?” I finally asked when Eicca didn’t say anything for a while.

“Yes, I’ve had my temptations but I was wise enough to hold on to my family. I know people who have ruined their life by trying to find a perfect relationship.”

“I think I found something perfect last week. I will have to see this to the end. If I don’t do it, I will regret it the rest of my life”, I told Eicca and grabbed his arm to convince him. “Please help me with this!”

\------

      When our plane landed in Melbourne after 28 hours of travelling I was completely done with everything although the tour hadn’t even started yet. The only thing that delighted me was the prospect of seeing Franky again. I was going to keep my mouth shut about Johanna and hoped that Eicca wouldn’t blabber about her either.

      The heat and the amount of light in Melbourne were almost unreal after the cold and darkness of Finland. When we arrived at our hotel Franky was already there and came to meet us at the lobby. He gave us all a warm hug and helped me to carry my luggage to our room. I headed directly to the shower to rinse away the sweat and dirt of our journey. When I returned feeling refreshed Franky grabbed me in his arms without saying anything. The anxiety that had bothered me during our journey vanished quickly in his embrace. I felt safe again and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything during these coming ten days.

“I’m so happy to see you again”, Franky finally whispered in my ear. It’s been a long two weeks for me. The last time we talked you sounded a bit off and I was worried about you.”

“I’ve never felt as tired as I did after our last tour. At first I thought there was something wrong with me but then I realized that I needed more physical exercise. I started riding again and now I’m like a new person.”

“I’ve noticed the same thing. Exercise is extremely important if you’re touring a lot. Should we test some of your muscles right away?” Franky snickered and slid his hands along my back to my buttocks. “Hmm, your butt feels nice and firm.”

“It’s always been nice and firm or have you forgotten it already?”  I retorted him feeling my dick come alive.

“No, I haven’t forgotten even if I sometimes wished I would. But now I would like to refresh my memories”, Franky murmured and grabbed my hand to take me to bed.

      My memories of Franky as my lover were not many but all the more passionate. I intended to make more of them now that we had the chance.

“Jeez man, you’re so beautiful I could eat you for dinner!” Franky whispered when he had rolled himself on top of me. He gazed down at me his dark eyes full of gentleness. I folded my legs around his sturdy body ready to give myself to him the way he wanted.

Our lovemaking was just as magnificent I had remembered. Somehow he managed to bring out the feminine side of me which I normally kept hidden. Maybe that was the reason I enjoyed our relationship so much.


	2. Mikko, a friend or a foe

## Mikko, a friend or a foe (2)

We had arrived at Melbourne a little early to allow one day for rest and rehearsals before the Soundwave festival. It was a wise decision because adaptation to the heat and time difference wasn’t easy.

      We had just had our rehearsal in Mikko’s room and I had stayed behind to change a string to my cello when Mikko received a phone call from Mikael. When Mikko talked with him his voice was soft as velvet and every cell in his body seemed to radiate love and affection. I was relieved that he finally had found his soulmate and lover in Mikael.

“How’s Mikael?” I asked when Mikko had finished the call.

“He’s fine but my teddy bear isn’t enough for him. He’s used to something better”, Mikko smirked trusting my sense of humor. Our relationship had turned from love into a strong friendship that would tolerate just about anything.

“Has he moved in with you? I thought he was still studying at Turku.”

“He’s having a practice period in Helsinki at the moment. During that time he stays at my place. He will graduate next spring.” Mikko replied.

“What are your plans after that?”

“We will have to see if he gets a job in Helsinki area or somewhere close enough. In that case we could live in my current apartment. Otherwise we will have to find a new one. We thought we would marry if it becomes possible any time soon.”

“I’m volunteering as your best man if you promise to return the favor one day”, I smirked.

“What? Are you finally going to marry Anna?”

“Can you keep a secret?” I asked after a short consideration.

“You know I wouldn’t let on about your matters, not even to Mikael if you say so.”

“I met this woman last week who is absolutely a dream come true for me. She’s young, beautiful and a very down to earth person, exactly what I need. I have the feeling that she’s the one for me.”

“What happens with Anna? Does she know about this?” Mikko asked sounding worried.

“I have told her about Johanna, but not about my feelings for her. Anna knows me well enough to probably guess what’s happening. Anyway we have already decided that we will live separately and we are currently trying to find a nanny for Lumi.”

“First Franky and now this Johanna, You’re not the epitome of reliability. Where’s your responsible adult? Anna is risking her life to have your child and you’re running around like some sex maniac”, Mikko spit the words out of his mouth full of contempt.

I jumped up from my chair, grabbed my instrument and headed out of the room slamming the door shut behind me. I wasn’t going to take this crap from anybody, not even from my best friend.

      “What happened?” Franky asked when I rushed into our room tears in my eyes.

“I just got into an argument with Mikko. He thinks I’m an irresponsible person.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I’m with you and because I’m not going to marry Anna.”

“I think those are your decisions and yours alone. You will know what the right thing to do is when Lumi is born.”

“Maybe… ”, I mumbled feeling guilty. I didn’t want to tell Franky why I wasn’t going to marry Anna. She was a wonderful person and a great lover but something was missing. I was sure about it now, after I had met Johanna.

“Perhaps I should go and apologize Mikko”, I told Franky after I had calmed down and my anger had faded.

“Please do. It’s always better to settle a dispute. Anger consumes your energy.” Franky said and gave me a warm hug.

      When I knocked on Mikko’s door I wasn’t sure what I should say. Perhaps he wouldn’t even open the door for me. He did and looked like he had been expecting me. “I’m sorry that I left like that. I’ve been a little uptight lately”, I apologized staring at my hands.

Mikko grabbed me in his arms and held me tight. “I’m sorry that I snapped at you. I just think Anna is a fine woman and deserves a man who loves her.”

      For some reason I got emotional again and started to cry against Mikko’s shoulder. He raised my chin gently and gave me a kiss, one of those kisses that started carefully but ended up devouring me alive. I pushed my fingers into his hair and let out a moan telling Mikko that I was ready and willing. In a second my clothes lay scattered on the floor and Mikko was on top of me sinking himself inside me. Our lovemaking was more passionate than ever before. I was stunned by Mikko’s strength and gentleness.

“How did it go? Did Mikko accept your apology?” Franky asked when I was back more than an hour later. I knew I looked a bit messed up. Mikko had consumed my lips and bitten my neck but I was happy.

“Yeah, he did and I accept his”, I smiled and threw myself on the bed. I would probably sleep well this night.


	3. Nightmares

## Nightmares (3)

I woke up in the middle of the night to a chilling nightmare in a hotel room at Adelaide. The whole band, Eicca, Mikko, Paavo and Franky included, had decided to abandon me in some God forsaken wilderness in Australia. They had come to the conclusion that I was no good for the band. I couldn’t be trusted and besides I was getting too fat. They would hire a younger and more beautiful cellist to replace this old scumbag.

      I had to sit up on my bed and go to the toilet to get rid of the horror of being left alone in a completely unfamiliar place. I sat a long time on the toilet seat trying to calm down my wildly beating heart. It was a relief to see the safe hotel room walls around me and my familiar toothbrush waiting on the bathroom shelf.

“What’s up”, Franky mumbled half asleep when I crawled back to bed.

“It’s nothing. I just had a nightmare”, I replied and curled into Franky’s arms. I needed him to hold me and keep the chills away.

“You’re shivering”, Franky whispered and stroke my hair. “Calm down, it was just a nightmare.”

“Please fuck me. I need it”, I begged when the shivering didn’t stop and I felt I was suffocating.

      My body relaxed only when Franky was inside me doing his thing. His kisses and strong body made me forget the fear I had felt a while ago. When Franky had come I relaxed and curled into his lap ready to fall into a dreamless sleep.

      The heat in Adelaide that day was intense, 39C and I was completely exhausted at the end the show. Maybe the guys were right, perhaps I was too old for this. Eicca gave me a worried look when I could hardly stand on my own two feet during our final bows on stage.

“You look really tired. Are you still having problems with the time difference?” Eicca asked when we were at the backstage resting after the gig.

“Probably, I had a horrible nightmare last night. You all dumped me in the bush because I was too fat and old.”

“C’mon! What makes you think you’re fat? You’re skinny as hell and the youngest of us”, Eicca laughed.

“Well, I’ve gained some weight lately and I can feel it. I’m not the same anymore.”

“None of us is! Staying in shape requires hard work at our age. I noticed that myself and started to exercise more. Luckily I have my farm to take care of. Maybe you should buy one too. Digging ditches and chopping firewood would do you good.”

“Yeah, playing games and surfing the internet doesn’t help much”, I admitted. If I had my own house in the countryside I could have a horse and stables there. That sounded like a tempting idea!

\-----

      I thought that after four days I would be on the safe side with adjusting to Australia conditions but apparently I wasn’t. When I tried to fall asleep after our show in Adelaide things just kept swirling around in my head and I tossed and turned in my bed feeling desperate.

      I did fall asleep in the end but when I stirred awake my horror was even deeper than the previous night. This time I was alone with Anna and she was bleeding and screaming in agony. There was no-one to help us and I knew I would have to deliver the baby into this world all by myself.

      I jumped up on my bed gasping for air waking Franky in the process.

“Jeez, these nightmares are killing me. Now it was Anna giving birth… ”, I panted and buried my face in my hands.

“Come here. I will hold you. It will pass”, Franky calmed me down and took me in his arms.

“Should I call Anna? What if she really has problems?”

“Go ahead if it helps you. It’s evening in Finland so you won’t disturb her”, Franky said checking the watch.

      I took my cell and headed to the bathroom to make my call. I didn’t want to keep Franky awake needlessly. “Hi Anna, how are you doing?” I asked carefully not wanting to alarm her.

“Hi darling. What are you doing up this time of the day? It must be middle of the night out there.” Anna asked perceptive as always.

“I woke up from a nightmare and wanted to check that you are alright”, I admitted.

“I’m fine. I just had a dinner and Lumi is playing football in my belly”, Anna replied smiling. “It’s been a week already and I miss you. Is your tour going alright?”

      I told Anna about the heat and the shows in Melbourne and Adelaide. Our fans were very enthusiastic about having Franky onboard and waiting eagerly for our new album. The only thing that we could really complain about was the slow internet connections. They really sucked.

      Chatting this and that with Anna eased up my anxiety. I didn’t have to worry about her wellbeing at the moment but the dream had forced me to think about the childbirth. If Lumi would be born as scheduled I would be around to participate but if it would happen earlier I would be on our North America tour or at Download festival. If her birth would be delayed till after Midsummer I would be at Provinssi. The chances to see my daughter’s birth were relatively slim.

      Franky was already asleep when I returned to bed. I crawled carefully behind his back thankful that I had him with me. Without his support I probably wouldn’t have slept at all during these two nights. I should remember to thank him in the morning.


	4. Long term plans

## Long term plans (4)

Our next performance would be in Sydney at Enmore Theatre together with Marilyn Manson. We had again allowed one day for travelling and one day for preparing for our show on Wednesday. I had some time before our rehearsals to consider Eicca’s comments about the benefits of country life. I wasn’t exactly known as a handyman keen on building and repairing things. I just didn’t have the passion for that. Playing games and of course music in all its forms were important to me. Finding a suitable form of exercise had been difficult. I had tried jogging and training at a gym but nothing really motivated me in the long run. Now that I had found horses and riding I was ready to sacrifice time and money for it.

      Combining tour life with life on the countryside would require a trusted companion who would take care of all the practical matters while I was away. Anna was the closest alternative for that kind of responsibility. Of course this touring wouldn’t last forever. As Eicca had pointed out we were not young anymore. Maybe I should plan my life on longer term. The question of having a family and children was an essential part of that. Anna had predicted that one day I would wake up and find myself needing a young woman who could be the mother of my children. That time had come now and Lumi had been the catalyst for the wakeup call.

      I remembered well our discussion about this topic last autumn. Anna had led me to understand that she might want to stay in the picture even if I was married to someone else. Now when I was going to have Lumi with Anna the idea of having some kind of joint venture with her was all the more realistic. I definitely wanted to be part of my daughter’s life. Maybe we could reach some kind of understanding about this.

      The realization that I had now found a direction to my life was a huge relief to me and made me happy and energetic. I hurried to our rehearsals determined to show the guys that I was a man true to my word and a reliable companion for my band mates through thick and thin. I was sure I had friends like Eicca who would help me to find a farm that would suit my special needs.

“You look mighty fine today. Are you sleeping better?” Eicca asked after we had finished our rehearsal.

“Well, that too but most of all, thanks to your proposal, I think I know now what I’m going to do next.”

“Have I made a proposal?” Eicca asked and scratched his chin looking puzzled.

“Yeah, you told me to buy a house on the countryside. That’s exactly what I’m going to do. I need an estate large enough to accommodate two houses and a stable, one house for me and one for Anna.”

“But Anna just bought a house. I don’t think she’s very keen to move again”, Eicca remarked.

“I will have to persuade her…”

“So you haven’t talked about this with her?”

“No, I just figured it out”, I replied feeling embarrassed.

“I think you should hold your horses and discuss your idea first with Anna. If she wants to look more into it, you can start to make inquiries. I can keep an eye on suitable estates if you like.”

My enthusiasm about this idea was fading quickly because discussing it with Anna meant opening a real can of worms. I would have to tell her about Johanna and my intentions to marry her. Anna would probably get mad and close me out her life altogether.

“I will have to consider this a little more”, I said winding a strand of Eicca’s hair around my finger.

“Hmm, would you like to spend the night with me? We could grab some dinner and then enjoy the evening together”, Eicca proposed and stroke my cheek with his fingers. ”It’s been a long time since…”


End file.
